{"id":680,"date":"2014-02-20T15:53:34","date_gmt":"2014-02-20T15:53:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/18.191.22.100\/?p=680"},"modified":"2014-02-20T15:53:34","modified_gmt":"2014-02-20T15:53:34","slug":"jewish-jokes-for-parshas-vayakhel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fargate.dev.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jewish-jokes-for-parshas-vayakhel\/","title":{"rendered":"Jewish Jokes for Parshas Vayakhel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>BUBBY&#8217;S BEANS<\/p>\n<p>This week&#8217;s Torah portion discusses the holy day of Shabbos. On Shabbos, we eat many traditional Jewish foods. My personal favorite is cholent. Cholent is an incredible mix of all types of food. Let&#8217;s go into Grandma&#8217;s kitchen and discover how she makes cholent. <\/p>\n<p>First come the two opposite: The soft, mushy potato along with the solid marrow bones. When I tried one of the marrow bones, I found that is was hard like a rock. I told Grandma, &#8220;I&#8217;ve heard about putting beer into cholent, but I&#8217;ve never heard of putting in A ROCK (ARAK)!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Next, Grandma puts in the meat and the kishka (stuffed derma\/intestines). The type of meat commonly used for the cholent is a cut called flanken. I always wondered which part of the cow the flanken comes from, so I asked Grandma, &#8220;Where exactly is the flanken?&#8221; Grandma smiled at me and said, &#8220;It&#8217;s right next to the kishka!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Finally, Grandma takes a bag of cholent beans from her pantry and adds it to the mix. Looking closely at the bag, I noticed that the label said &#8220;cholent beans.&#8221; I turned to Grandma. &#8220;Grandma, don&#8217;t take this personally, but these beans don&#8217;t look like cholent beans to me. These look like regular, good old-fashioned lentils and lima beans.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Grandma was a little insulted and wagged her finger at me. &#8220;Yankel, don&#8217;t tell me what to do. I know exactly what I&#8217;m doing. I KNOW MY BEANS!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>By Yankel Moskowitz<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>BUBBY&#8217;S BEANS This week&#8217;s Torah portion discusses the holy day of Shabbos. On Shabbos, we eat many traditional Jewish foods. My personal favorite is cholent. Cholent is an incredible mix [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.9.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Jewish Jokes for Parshas Vayakhel - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fargate.dev.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jewish-jokes-for-parshas-vayakhel\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jewish Jokes for Parshas Vayakhel - Jewish Resources\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"BUBBY&#8217;S BEANS This week&#8217;s Torah portion discusses the holy day of Shabbos. 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