{"id":664,"date":"2014-02-12T15:30:41","date_gmt":"2014-02-12T15:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/18.191.22.100\/?p=664"},"modified":"2014-02-12T15:30:41","modified_gmt":"2014-02-12T15:30:41","slug":"jewish-jokes-for-parshas-ki-sisa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fargate.dev.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jewish-jokes-for-parshas-ki-sisa\/","title":{"rendered":"Jewish Jokes for Parshas Ki Sisa"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>THE GOLDEN YEARS OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE<\/p>\n<p>This week&#8217;s Torah portion tells the story of the <a href=\"http:\/\/ohr.edu\/5379\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">sin of the Golden Calf<\/a>, which the Jewish people made for themselves to worship. A few hundred years later, the wicked Jewish king Yeravam ben Nevat would do the same thing, on a larger scale. Instead of building one golden calf, he built two calves. <\/p>\n<p>Most worshipers knew the laws of idol worship by heart. How did they learn the rules? There was a very popular book called AN IDIOT&#8217;S GUIDE TO IDOL WORSHIP. For the children, there was a book by Dr. Suess called HOW TO BOW TO A COW. <\/p>\n<p>For those who did not have a chance to read these books, there were big signs outside the calves&#8217; cages with instructions for worshiping the idols. The first sign read, &#8220;NO IDOLING.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>The second sign showed the instructions for feeding the calves: &#8220;If the first god is hungry, please serve it. If, after being served, the first god is still hungry, please serve the second god- to the first god&#8221;! <\/p>\n<p>The third sign was the most interesting of all. It was exactly the opposite of the signs we have in America today. The sign by the golden calves read, &#8220;CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR GOD&#8221;! <\/p>\n<p>By R&#8217; Yankel Moskowitz<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>THE GOLDEN YEARS OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE This week&#8217;s Torah portion tells the story of the sin of the Golden Calf, which the Jewish people made for themselves to worship. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.9.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Jewish Jokes for Parshas Ki Sisa - Jewish Resources<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fargate.dev.torahmates.org\/jewish-resources\/jewish-jokes-for-parshas-ki-sisa\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jewish Jokes for Parshas Ki Sisa - Jewish Resources\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"THE GOLDEN YEARS OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE This week&#8217;s Torah portion tells the story of the sin of the Golden Calf, which the Jewish people made for themselves to worship. 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